Let's Talk About Foreplay

Foreplay prepares the mind and body for sexual experiences. Making space for yourself and others to wind down before sex and build anticipation, which is great for increased intimacy and pleasure for everyone involved. Foreplay is just as important as sex and aftercare. It sets the tone for the events to follow, as well as creating a relaxed and comfortable environment. 

There are a variety of different ways to engage in foreplay, including but not limited to:  


Giving yourself or your partner a sensual massage before jumping right into genital stimulation can relax the muscles and wind down the mind. This is a great option for people whose love language is physical affection. Making your partner feel attended to and cared for is always a good start, and can deepen both sexual and emotional relationships. Set the mood by lighting some candles, grabbing your favorite lotion or oil, and fully indulging in pleasure and relaxation with yourself or a partner. 

Communicating Your Desires  

Communication is a necessary factor in any sexual relationship between two or more people. Being clear about each other’s wants and boundaries before engaging in sex is a must. Once boundaries are established, these conversations can be fun and flirty, and build anticipation for what’s to come. Talking to your partner about each other’s fantasies, or reminiscing on hot moments you’ve had with one another opens up space for you to express your desires and have more pleasurable experiences together. It also gives you an opportunity to praise each other for things you find sexy about them, and build confidence and reassurance. 

Kissing And Touching Over Clothes 

Not rushing right into taking your clothes off can really enhance anticipation and makes things super hot. Start slow with gentle kisses and light petting, letting the sexual energy naturally build between you and your partner. Light touches over clothes and underwear can be just as pleasurable as direct contact, and leaves you wanting more. 

Get Your Partner's Favorite Toy Involved 

Experimenting with new toys, or incorporating your favorites into foreplay can be a great way to get into the mood and learn more about your own desires as well as your partner’s. There are endless ways to go with this method of foreplay, because there are so many different kinds of toys. From vibrators, to butt plugs, to massagers, to restraints — the possibilities are boundless. Explore what excites you, and try adding toys you use while solo during partnered sex and vice versa. 

Mutual Masturbation 

Masturbating with a partner present can be a really exciting way to learn about each other and what you both like. It gives you an opportunity to show them exactly how and where you like to be touched. Mutual masturbation also can prepare the penis, vagina, and/or anus for penetration. Have fun with it and try restricting your partner from touching you for a certain amount of time, only allowing them to watch. Mix in other methods of foreplay by adding toys, dirty talk, porn, or whatever else you both enjoy.

Solo Foreplay 

Typically when we think of foreplay, we think of helping to get our partners ready for sex, or by preparing ourselves for sex with another person. These methods can also be used alone to add some extra TLC to your routine. Adding these steps for yourself can teach you about your body and what you enjoy in a comfortable, safe environment. It’s easy to get into your own head when you're with a partner, so exploring alone may help to lessen any looming pressure, and help better prepare you for communicating your desires to others. 


There is no one-size-fits-all way to foreplay, so take time to explore with yourself, remember to communicate with your partner, and try new things!

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